Taking That Step To Say Sorry

To Whom May Concern:

WE sometimes say and do hurtful things. That's why the two most important words are "I apologize".
True, an apology cannot undo the harm already done, but at least it can restore the dignity of the victim.
Some people are fearfil of apologising, believing it to be a sign of weakness. They don't want to appear submissive. But when they committed their hurtful acts, weren't they agressive? And didn't they usurp the power of the victim?
So, it is only fitting that they reverse roles by sincerely expressing their sorrow for acting inappropriately.
When one offends someone, he has done the wrong thing; not to apologise is to refuse to do the right thing and compound the offence.
Refusing to apologise is not a sign of strength, but weakness. After all, one who refuses to say sorry acts out of fear, but one who admits he was wrong and asks for forgiveness acts out of courage.
What do you do if your apology is rejected? Respect the right of the victim to do so. Yet, if your misconduct was not exceptionally grave and your apology was sincere, their refusal to accept it makes them equally guilty for now they are being hurtful. At such a time, don;t perpetuate the problem by expressing anger; rather, acknowledge that you have arrived at this point because of your misconduct, accpet the humiliation, gorgive the person you offended and move on.
Ironically, our misconduct can act as a blessing in disguise because it is an opportunity to awaken to our faults, express remorse and change our ways by repenting. But remember, this opportunity came about at the expense of another, so don't forget the pain you inflicted and do everything in your power to eliminate it.
An apology can be an important first step in the process of regret. I refer to it as a process because regret is not about feeling sorry or saying, "Sorry", but about doing something about it. It is about making amends and making up for the harm already done. We can offend someone in the blink of an eye and apologise just as quickly, but making up for it can take time, so be prepared to invest that time.
More reasons for apologising include:

• Justice and fairness demand that we apologise any time we hurt others.
• it is an opportunity to grow more by practising humility.
• It is a gift we offer our victim because by showing him that he is worthy of an apology, we are offering him respect and restoring the esteem we took away by the offence.
• It can heal damaged relationships because by apologising you are expressing that the relationship is important to you and that you want to make amends.
• When you recognise and accept your weaknesses, you will be better able to do the same for others, which is important because people are imperfect, mistakes will be made, and apologies will have to be accepted to restore harmony.
• We allow our victim to grow spiritually by offering the gift of forgiveness to us.
• By accepting responsibility and showing respect for the injured party, we may actually strengthen the relationship.
• By recognising that we have acted inappropriately, we are bigining to act appropriately and mend our ways.
• By making up for our misconduct, we will be free from remorse, regret, guilt and unhappiness. Instead of being ashamed of our behaviour, we will become proud of it.

Apologies play a crucial role in family life. Parents need to treat their children with dignity and apologise when they are wrong. Likewise, children need to treat their parents with respect and say sorry when they misbehave. But how can children do so unless they learn from the example of their parents? Parents who are constantly squabbling set a poor example.
An apology isn't complete unless we take all of the following steps:

• Apologise quickly because you do not know how soon it will be too late.
• Admit what you did.
• Be sincere by speaking from the heart and feeling the victim's pain.
• Give your victim the opportunity to vent his feelings.
• Make up for the harm you have done by taking corrective action, offering compensation or making restitution.
• Learn from the experience.
• If your victim accepts your apology, accept his pardon with gratitude.

We have seen how our missteps, mistakes and misbehaviours can prove to be a valuable opportunity to become a better person. Nevertheless, it remains true that the freatest firt we can offer others is to lead a life that doesn't need any apology. Although it is hardly likely that any of us can reach that ideal, we must cling to it to limit the damage we cause.

PS: This is an article shared in English Tuition by Mdm Ong...Hope to share with you here...